Art IS Everywhere!

Have you been to this blog?

This is Me: Journal

I found this blog just before the New Year and I am all over it! I printed every challenge back to the very beginning and I plan on doing them all. Another little creative jaunt for 2008.

Not feeling so good today. Been battling something for 2 weeks, had blood work last week and the doctor called me Friday. My white blood cell count that normally runs about 3.4 to 5 is 12.9. She said, "Somethings wrong Tammy, I need to see you again next week." Hmm, ok.

Tomorrow is the day. Joy. I have but one thought on the subject. Find it and fix it. I sure do not plan on worrying about it. I said my piece and now it's in God's hands. Moving on.

3 more rows left in my baby blanket I am crocheting and then it is trim time. Woot! So excited to be DONE!

OK, I'm outta here, early morning for me tomorrow and I still have to clean the house tonight. YUK!

♥ Tam

Change

That's my word.

2008 is going to be a year of change.

There is so much I want and need to change. My time management skills suck! I need to change my eating. I want to change. Be more productive, creative, conscious, healthy, positive, and I'd even like to post more. Ha!

First change...
Back to a 3-Column blog layout. So much better! Love the ability to have info on both side where as a double column layouts sidebar can be a mile long if you have a lot of info. Not for me.

Second change starts later this week.
Weight Watchers...
I can't believe I even typed that.
I need to lose weight...end of the excuses. I suck at dieting. SUCK! This is big for me, and Dennis is doing WW with me. LOVE that guy. I'll post more about WW later.

Creatively...
I am doing my own 365 project. Not writing in stone that I MUST take a photo a day. If I don't take a photo I HAVE to journal. It works for me. I'll post some at my Flickr account. ALix, if you're reading this I bought the Flickr Pro account and have NO clue how to anything, LOL Send me help when you can, puhleassee? :)

Set a goal of 365 layouts for 2008.
Lofty, yes.
Possible, yes.
We'll see.

Finishing ALL my unfinished projects.
This includes mini books, putting the article, ads, crafts instructions into my inspo book, my crochet projects, a couple canvases...all the "I HAVE to try this!" projects I started and stopped. I need a clean slate.

Feel like I have so much more to say but my mind is betraying me and my eyes are too. Almost 5 a.m. and I have yet to sleep.

I WILL post again tomorrow...
mini goals...set + achieve = happy

Sue- If you're reading this please comment me with the link to your blog...I am having a hell of a time finding it. Thanks much!

♥ Tam

Shrek in the house...

So, no layout photos.
I had a bad day.

And it all boils down to Shrek feet.

What are Shrek feet you ask?
Shrek feet are the new cankles.
And I have them.

Hideous things really. And sadly stingy like mosquitos biting me. This has become one of the many issues with whatever is going on inside of me. Even worse yet, they haven't went away. So, I have shrek feet.

Lovely.

And nausea. It's 1:46 a.m. and I haven't eaten since 10:30 a.m. It would be great if I were losing weight but I have Shrek feet to compensate for that.

And all in all... This post is hilarious. Who in their right mind tells people about their cankles?!?!

That would be me. And it makes me laugh sharing my Shrekiness with everyone.

And this makes me giddy! I pray I can come up with the expendable cash for this class!

Is there a call for models with Shrek feet?
LOLOL!

Ok...I'm out like donkey.
See ya around the swamp!

D I S O R D E R is N O T good!

*Edited - Photographic proof of our disaster*

Thanks Debbie, Lisa and Queenbusnick for the recipes! You're sweethearts!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
*long sigh*

Reevaluating lately.
I do this a lot.
I eliminate what isn't working for me and my little family.
Or add something that might make it better.

All I feel is chaos.

So much going on.
Not bad stuff.
OK, some not so good stuff.
My Mom has been super confused and yesterday there was a big battle. But that's actually less on my mind.

Anniversary was great.
We went out for a fabulous Chinese dinner. Dennis bought me the Foofala paper stack from Michaels, a bunch of Basic Grey Mini Books, paper, and embellies, a cool alphabet collection from Colorbok, and the LetraTag by Dymo which is so cool! He also got us (mutual gift) a new patio umbrella. It's gorgeous and deep navy and redwood. I love it.

Plus he is doing something I have wanted done for SO long. Staining our decks. This is quite a job. Our back deck is multi-leveled and about 30 feet long. The poor guy is working from 7 am to 7 pm and comes home and stains for a few hours. And let me tell you about a mess our backyard is! Ugh!


I don't do well with disorder. I just want it done. Seems like every single weekend we are busy working on something. There is no relaxing. Maybe I'll take some pictures later...And share our backyard disaster, lol

Does anyone eat yellow squash? I love it but have only had it fried and I planted some in my garden. Recipes would be greatly appreciated!

One Little Word 2 - Stop

Just got home from Dinner with my Mom and daughter and totally forgot I hadn't posted my lo for the OLW Challenge this week. Duh!

So here we go...
Challnge Word: STOP

Pictures are crappy because it's 11:16 p.m. and I have crappy lighting...Go figure!

Title: Stop & Look
Supplies:
DCWV Cardstock (LOVE the white core cs!)
Machine stitching- Joann's Thread
White Acrylic Paint by Plaid
Paint Thickener by Plaid
Micron Pens - Red & Black
Buttons - Various including MM's, Dress it Up, and Joann's
White & Black Ultra Fine Tip Paint Pens - Sharpie
White Embroidery Floss - DMC
Chipboard - Colorbok

Photo: Double rainbows over our house.
Journaling reads:
Phone rings. Ash answers. I hear her
calling for me outside.
I'm busy I say. She persists. I go. Look
Mom she says. Nice rainbow honey... but I'm busy.
STOP Mom! Look! Double rainbows...Amazing! Lesson learned.


Here are some macro shots of the deets:









Thanks for looking :)

One Little Word Submission....

I'm sure you all have heard about the One Little Word blog by now...

I do NOT submit my "stuff" to contests, HOF's, SOY, or things of such nature as a general rule. That rule being I am a big wuss. Rejection = NOT my thing. Criticism, umm nope. That is why I have a HUGE amount of respect for artists who do. It takes guts. Guts I reserve for my manly man husband. I did one of the Dares challenges once. I felt like a chicken at a poultry factory, LOL. Waiting...waiting for the hatchet to drop. Someone to say the big "EWW!" And the truth is...No one said anything. I have a gallery at 2peas. It has like 5 things in it. How you scrappers open yourself up to others is so nerve racking for me.

But...
I decided to try the OLW challenge.
I mean, I know I won't be chosen. (I looked at a couple entries and then had to quit, YIKES! Such incredible artistry...) But I want to a part of something. Maybe something that challenges me to go out there and share a part of myself and this craft I love.

So this is my submission.
You can click on the pictures for a full-size photo.
(Uh, if you look at it and hate it....PLEASE don't tell me, LOL)

I used DCVW cardstock and sewed a transparency in the center. I added a quote to the layout and some turquoise gems. The Go chipboard is by Kurio for K&Company. The picture is of my 16 year old daughter Ash. And the quote is from Steve Jobs. There is journaling to Ash from me behind the picture. It's held closed by a velcro tab I made. The journaling inside tells Ash how proud I am of her for being who she IS and not just like everyone else. That I am proud of her for being ok with her body and not rail thin, for standing up for her beliefs and walking out on a dissection for biology because she did not want to cut up an animal. For wearing totally cool vintage Vans hoodies because SHE loves them...And because being different is ok and she can go out in the world and make a difference if she chooses too. (That's not verbatim just a overview}

Here are some close-ups:





Wow...I am a basket case...Someone got a margarita or something...LOL

Em's Challenges-Caught Up!

Finally completely caught up on Em's challenges! Yay!

I finally decided how I was going to store my cards.

This is a tin I bought from Joann's last Fall when they were clearancing thier summer stock. I think I paid .39 for it. I covered it in papers, velvet rick-rack and added a tag. I put added rub-ons to name it because it now hangs in our living room on the wall. EVERYONE asks to loook in it.

Here they are:

Week 20: Change

Pretty simple stuff but one of my fave cards to date.


Back of the card.


Week 19: Surprise!

I made a spinner with a window with some random thoughts on surprises.


Back of the card.


Week 18: Nature

This is picture is taken looking out of the sliding glass door in my dining room. We live on 27 acres adjacent to a state game reserve. Our own little slice of Heaven.



Back of the card. Added some twigs from our yard.


Close-up


Week 17: My Bedroom

Tried crocheting around the edge of the card and added a crocheted flower.
Simple stuff.



Back of the card.


Close-up of the crochet flower and crocheting around the edge.


Week 16: Have someone else contribute.

Ash, my daughter did one side. I handed it to her and said do whatever. She said she wanted it to look like a flower with bling, LOL So I did the same with my side only my "old" style...LOL


Close-up of my side...


Ash's Side...


Close-up of Ash's side of the card.

Weekend Update

Happy Mother's Day

It was our weekend to take care of my Mom. I had to cover my sister's weekend because she covered mine a few weeks ago when my pneumonia was so bad.
It was not a great weekend. And I really don't even want to talk about it which is a first for me. Yes, it was that bad.

The rbight spot Dennis ended up having today off. The kids gave me an adorable kit to make a recipe scrapbook for summer/bbq recipes and all sorts of coordinating tags.
Dennis gave me a lovely bunch of flowers and a super cute pair of tennies with heart skulls and cross bones on them. I LOVE them, but they are too big. Hopefully we can exchange them. And a bunch of scrappy goodies, mini kits, stickers, chipboard. Good stuff.

Lots of blood work and a couple more xrays tomorrow so I won't have challenge posted until later.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone who left me comments on my cards and MLR journal. Thanks SO much! Truly means a lot.

Take care of you.

MLR, Em's Art Challenge and More

I consider myself pretty open to all things. Especially all things crafty. I will attempt anything at least once. And I always thought when artist's spoke about "thinking outside of the box" and "leaving their comfort zone" that they possibly were so focused on their area of expertise that they might be becoming stagnant and attempting to bring some life back into their art.

HELLO!?!?!?!
I was W.R.O.N.G!

I have made many collages in my day. But I never tried a collage portrait much less a collage self-portrait. And I have to be honest. It was SO HARD!
I struggled finding images, then I struggled figuring out how to assemble it and have it still resemble a person... ACK! I was at a complete loss.

Finally after nearing mental craziness I just let all my misconceptions go and started gluing things down. And you know what...

I LIKE IT!
It weird and funky and yet "I" see myself in it.
How weird is that?

And I have total respect for collage artists. You guys ROCK! Way beyond rock. You are GENIUS!

So without further ado here is me a la collage self-portrait.

I used magazine images, paint, corrections pens, 7 Gypsies stamp, and Sharpie Ultra Fine Point Pens.

I will try more of this in the future. And I have a bonus weekend challenge for all you players on Friday in conjunction with this :)

****************************************************************

I have caught up on some of Em's Challenges. Here they are:

Week 12: I Believe



Week 13: What's on your mind?



Week 14: Birds



Week 15: Your Parents






I am almost done with the other but not quite yet.

I have created a separate blog for all the web ring members:
Friends of Em's Art Challenges

I just created today and haven't had much time to work on it so give me a little time. I got some ideas I just need more hours in the day. So check it out and bookmark it :)
*****************************************************************

I know I posted about having pneumonia. Well, my x-ray's are still showing something in my left lung and my white blood cell count is crazy. I have to go again Friday for another round of blood work as well as x-ray's on my lungs, stomach, and pancreas. I feel tired A LOT. I have this weird feeling when I breathe and pain.

And I am a little afraid.
*sighs*

My Doctor is wonderful but she is keeping pretty tight-lipped with me about tests and things. She keeps saying she wants to wait to see this and that. It's all making me a real wreck. So I have been spending as much time with the kids planting flowers and herbs today, and painting Cameron's playhouse.

The playhouse was Ashley's when she was little. Now it is ulee's (Cameron's nickname)...
Here are a few pictures:




These are from 2 weekends ago. I actually finished all the sides this past Sunday. I'll take pictures of all the finished sides tomorrow to share.

I have been playing with the features of my camera and took this shot of Cameron get a helicopter ride from his cousin Jessica:


And this funny shadow picture of my niece Jess, her friend Shannon and I as Charlie's Angels, LOLOLOL!

That be some OVER SIZED Charlie's Angels...LOLOLOL!

Anyway, this is what has been keeping my mind off the other crap.

Memories, ya know...
Go make some.

Peace!

My Life...Remembered *Two*

First of all I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to Lisa and Jayne aka *G* for joining me on the My Life...Remembered journey. THANKS GIRLS! You totally rock!

All player's work can be see in the slide on the right.
And I have added a link list to the player's web site/blogs. This can also be seen on the right.

Lisa and Jayne you both rocked the first prompt, so impressed by you both.

So let's play...

This week I want you to dig out:
Old magazines, collage materials, books, catalogs
Any collage items you might want to use: fibers, jewels, glazes, found objects anything goes here.
Glue/adhesive
scissors
Fave writing tools (Pens, markers, pastels, ink...)

Cut out pieces to make a self-portrait.
It can be just a head shot or full body.
Glue them down.
Using your fave writing tools write the anatomy of you.
Draw arrows to each collage piece and journal why you chose it as a reflection of how you see yourself.
For example I might choose a clipping of tangled yarn for my hair because I see my naturally curly hair as a mess of string.

Post a link to your work here on Wednesday or send me a picture by email and I will add it to the slide show.

Ready.
Set.
Cut.

I do have a couple of questions though...
Is anyone interested in more than one prompt a week? If so how many?
Would you like journaling prompts every day?

Let me know and I will be happy to play along with your ideas to make this more fun and creative.

Take care of you!
Tam

My Life...Remembered *One* + BONUS Journaling Prompt.

I hadn't decided what journal I would use until the last second and then couldn't find the one I *know* i have and was a bit disappointed. I actually wanted to use an all black paged journal because it is so different than any I have used before. I have been writing in journals since I was 12.

But Dennis helped me decide on this journal which is actually a sketchbook. It's big and leather bound and a steal of a buy from an art house 3 years ago for 5.00 :)


As far as a cover design goes, I think as time goes on I'll just add to it. But for now. It's plain and simple and I am good with it as is even if I never change it.

For my first entry I simply went with acrylics and a black Sharpies. Every wave off my circle tells something about who I am and what I feeling right NOW. Simple good creative release.


Even though no one is playing along with me that's ok too. I'm still going to post Monday "fun" challenges and journaling prompts to fill in the pages.

Although I love to scrapbook, I honestly believe a lot of who we are gets lost in the little amount of journaling we do. Although I am a hardcore believer in the art of scrapbooking I think the written word is taking a bit of a back seat to all the other "embellishment". So journals are a perfect way to leave your honest self for the future. So I will be posting journaling prompts for you too. Random stuff. fun and serious.

And in lieu of my LOVE for American Idol last night here is a journaling prompt:
What songs have touched your life? Any special meanings? Past or present :)

*My Life...Remembered*

Bet you thought I forgot huh! :)

Busy day, another doctor's visit and some family stuff kept me away from the computer all day until I got the kids in bed and started my first page in my new journal.

So here is your assignment if you choose to accept it:

Choose a journal, notebook, scrapbook, alterable of some sort (book, magazine, etc.).
Grab some writing utensils (Prismas, chalks, paints, oils, gel's, crayons, who cares be fun!)
First page.
Draw a circle in the center.
Write your name in it and todays date.
Then outside of the entire circle fill it will information about YOU today!
Age
Responsibilites
Favorite foods
Dreams
Fears
Whatever you are FEELING RIGHT NOW at THIS MOMENT.

You have 30 minutes so set a timer.
Seriously.
This is fun.
Sporadic, instataneous creative burst.
Don't overthink it.
Just open yourself up and let it all out.

30 minutes.

Ready.
Set.
Go.

Post a link to your creations here or email them to me and I'll post a big linkage to them all on Wednesday.

What are ya waiting for???

Peace!
Tam

Creative truths...

When one is deathly sick for 8 straight days they have a lot of time to ponder about their life, loves, and even how many times they can possibly cough up a lung in one day (816 if you're interested...)

So here I am still sick.

But with a clearer head and heart. At least mentally, I still have PEWmonia.

When I decided almost a year ago to create a new blog that strayed away from my personal life and more into my hobby/crafty/artsy life I had thought it would open up some new magical universe of creative cajoling and beautiful camaraderie amongst others who love creating as much as I do. But I have to be honest and I in all honesty have not always been honest about who I am as a creative type and how different this scrap blogging world is compared to just a personal "bitch" blog about my life that I have had for years.

So here comes some soul-baring, embarrassing, truths about me, my life, blogging, and scrapbooking:

1. In the last year I have set foot in a scrapbook store twice.
2. The only supplies I have actually bought in the last 5 months were actually purchased with a gift certificate that my super sweet friend Penny sent me in an email after a particularly crappy weekend taking care of my Mom. *Thank you again Penny, it was such a sweet, kind, and generous gift I will not forget*
3. I have ZERO scrapbooking friends.
No one in real life and pretty much no one on the net I talk to regularly.
4. I don't have a web site or scrapbook community I hang out at. I have a gallery at 2peas and I think it has 5 things in it.
5. I don't own a fancy camera. I use a basic Olympus FE-170 point and shoot. It is all I can afford. And to be honest it will always be about the price I can afford. I will never own a D-40 S-80 whatever a lot of scrapbookers use.
6. I do not subscribe to any magazines.
7. I do not have any subscriptions to any kit clubs. I can't afford them. I wish I could, but I can't. That's that.
8. I will never attend a CKU. Way out of my price range.
9. I have taken 3 online classes. All with Shimelle. I have loved them all! I think Shimelle is awesome because she provides incredibly detailed and involved classes with really different creative approaches from women all OVER the world. The prompts and info is thought provoking, in-depth and beautifully presented. She is sweet and most of genuine and she makes me feel like my story is worth telling no matter what paper I use or album I put it in. And I can afford them. Are they worth more than she charges? Yes! I won't lie. But because of her generosity I feel like I am just like everyone else and for that, I am grateful.
10. I have never tried out for a design team. Or a manufacturer team, or a HOF or SOY contest.
Why? Because I don't think I am good enough to garner a second glance. And today, I am ok with that. If you had asked me a week ago I would have said I suck, I hate my work, it isn't worthy. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Would I like to be on a team?
Yeah! But my "not good enough" alter ego prevents me from even making a submission. So unless some magical design team person summons me via email personally, it's not going to happen.
11. I don't get mani-pedi's. LOL! Not my thing and not in my income.
12. I don't worship Starbucks. In fact I have never had anything from Starbucks.
Sorry Starbuck's worshippers. Maxwell House hot in my sunflower mug with a splash of cream is OK for me.
13. I also don't drink Diet anything. In fact I hate diet pop/soda. It makes my mouth taste like metal. But I do wish I could save myself the calories by doing just the above.
14. I am overweight/fat.
I am NOT a Gucci toting, Seven jeans, Anthropologie, Pottery Barn shopping girl. Price and sizes not for moi. But I love looking at what everyone else is wearing and filling their homes with.
15. I do NOT have a scrap "studio". Studio kills me. I have been scrapbooking since a studio was just a room. Now it's a studio. LOL! I used to have my own room aka studio but then I got pregnant with Cameron and the room went out to the shed and made way for a crib and changing table.
16. I use a lot of "vintage" scrapbook supplies.
Vintage=old school. Stickers and papers from years ago. Die-cuts and I even break out my Coluzzle every once in awhile. Why? Because it is what I have. And I consider myself damn lucky. 95% of the stuff I won came from the local scrapbook store I worked at. When Deb closed the store she gave us tons of stuff. But don't think "Oh my God, how lucky!" because like I said it was years ago and I am sure most of you might find stickers passe and old school pattern papers. However, if you choose to- Like I do- I am lucky to have them. And grateful.
One of the best things I have read lately and touches my heart personally is this quote from a super amazing scrapbooker named Karla Dudley:

"There's no [scrapbook] product that's out of date or politically incorrect...just people with soggy imaginations" -Karla Dudley

Amen to that girl!

17. I don't have a scrapbook style.
I just do whatever feels good to me and what I thinks looks cool or sophisticated, elegant or vintage depending on what I am working on. So I guess that makes me eclectically styled. ;)
18. Do I think there are any hard and fast rules about scrapbooking?
NO! It's art. And art is subjective. I mean come on, we all don't like bananas now do we? So why would we all like Elsie flannigan's free-spirited art or Ali's chic linear graphic approach? My point is don't bitch and moan about someone's art. If you don't like it.... Don't look at it. It really is that simple.
19. I don't purchase only bazzill card stock. LOL! Just typing that killed me into laughing hysterics. For one, I in general can't afford it and secondly, I like the texture but I have to be realistic about what I can and can not buy and what I could buy in place of some of the more expensive things. Do I think it's expensive? Sometimes. But if you can afford it and you LOVE it, BUY IT! I would too.
20. I think I am one of the only scrapbookers left on earth who hasn't used, seen in person, or ever touched a piece of Hambly Screen Prints transparencies or paper or rubs. But I haven't given up hope on this one yet! LOL!
21. A couple of weeks ago I noticed I started to feel depressed looking at all my favorite blogs. And I realized it was because I had started allowing myself to judge my own art to others. And if anyone is honest enough to admit it...It's hard not to fall into a I HAVE TO HAVE THAT or EVERYONE is using that paper, stamp, or chipboard, I NEED it too mentality. The truth is we all want acceptance and adulation. But...(always a but) at what cost? For me it came at the cost of making layouts. I just quit. I didn't want to share. If it didn't have the hottest paper or newest rub-ons, it would have been too embarrassing. Then in my sickness I realized I didn't start scrapbooking because I fell in love with a pattern paper or fancy book binder. I started scrapbooking because I wanted someone to know the story of me. The value of my life and who I am and the family I have created. So here I am...

I have come full circle and feel like a huge load has been lifted from me.

I am just me. My story is my story. And if no one likes it that's OK. Because at the end of the day and when I log off the net the only ones who matter - love what I do. And that my friends is why we all do this.

So these are my truths. I share them with you will clear mind and open heart. Do what you choose with them.

On Monday I am starting something new for me.
And if you would like to come back here on Mondays and join me that would be awesome! If not, that's OK too.

Mondays are going to start my new creative play project.
"My Life Remembered."
Every Monday I am going to do a single page in a journal. Just for me. Just because I do a lot for other reasons and sometimes it is never about me. It will be all sorts of little stuff. Sometimes a verbal prompt, sometimes a materials challenge, maybe a collage, word experiment...whatever it happens to be. And I don't even know what I will use. A journal or a plain old notebook or a book I can alter. I'll choose Monday morning.

And Wednesday I'll post my resulting masterpiece. *snickers*
And if you want to share yours with me, us, the world...You can post a comment with a link to your work, or email me a link or even the picture and I will post it on my blog.

Why am I doing this? Because I want to. That's it. And I wouldn't mind a few friends either. But if that doesn't happen, that is OK too. No commitments. You don't have to do it every week. Just when ever you can pop over.

So think about it.
Mondays.
Your life...Remembered.

OK, this has been a seriously long amount of crap for you to read if you even got this far...(Yay for you if you did and a HUGE hug from me!) so I will stop boring you with my epiphanies on life and scrapbooking and go make something because I "want" to for me.

Everyone in que for Em's web ring has been approved unless the code is still missing from your blog. Sorry about the wait.

Oh and did I mention I have decided to start making 8.5 x 11 lo's again? That's a whole other subject I'll save for later.

All this enlightenment has led to my deep desire to own this book:



Does anyone own it and if so, do you like it? Love it? Hate it? Please leave me your comments about it! Thanks :)

Tam

Snoozing on a Saturday afternoon...

How is it that when you have no kids in the house you wake up naturally at 7 a.m.? Seriously! I do not understand. If my kids were home I would be so exhausted I would beg for a few hours longer to sleep. But no... 7 a.m.

Ridiculous.

Haven't been blogging.
Just needed a break.
Ever feel like even though you really have no commitments you never have any free time? That is how I feel lately. Sucked into the vacuum of my own world. The computer/online/blogging has been the farthest thing from my mind. As well as scrapbooking, cooking, doing laundry...LOL

We spent the Easter weekend with my Mom and a few more days to make it a full week. It wasn't bad. Actually it was fairly nice. But exhausting on multiple levels. At least I came home to a clean house. And 6 loads of dirty laundry from the week away. Joy!

Way behind on posting Em's cards. No desire to take pictures right now. Maybe it's the 3 inches of SNOW we got the other day!!! Stupid! April SNOW showers. Ugh!

I haven't even touched Shimelle's Class worksheets. Hello! Motivation, where for art thou?

I have however managed to get a good amount of baby blanket crocheted for my niece Niki. Which ironically I find super relaxing.

I should get showered and head to the grocery store but I think I am going to crawl back in bed with the basset hound and sleep for a while. While the house is quiet and the kids don't need their mum. Love that word Mum.

Oh and before I go...
Sanjaya SUCKS!

I leave you with that.

Peace :)

Home Bittersweet Home

So good to be home....

And I can NOT wait to sleep in my amazingly.delicious.uber.comfortable.supa.california.king bed!

Sorry I didn't write a post before we left but I decided around noon on Thursday to just grab some stuff and head to my Mom's.

It wasn't a bad weekend. And for that I am so grateful.
It wasn't an easy weekend either.

My Mom has been super confused since her angiogram and it was hard to deal with that again. The worst being Friday night when she woke us up starting at 12:30 a.m. looking for my Dad. And even though when we would ask her, "Mom, where is Dad?" she would reply, "I know he is in Heaven but God makes miracles happen every day and maybe he is going to send Dad back and I need to find him." Sometimes the logic escapes me to explain away these delusions. And the confusion about my Dad hurts me the most.

But other than I completely exhausted, I am OK. It was OK. And OK is good.

We stayed until this afternoon. I made dinner for my sister and her husband, my Mom, the kids and I before she went back to my sister's house. And then I came home. Somewhat glad and somewhat sad.

No matter how trying it is...Sometimes it's just sad to leave her. Sad to see her so unhappy not being able to stay at her house.

Great weather here in Michigan :)
Somewhere around the high 60's today. Which officially makes it shorts weather for me! LOL

Anything over 50 and I am HOT! I guess that is part due to me chasing a 3 year old around and because of the size of my arse! Us fat girls get hot so much faster than you lovely skinny girls...That I am envious of.

I am pretty OK in my "big" skin. It has taken a long time to get here.
I figure it this way:
This is me. It's a lot of me. But it's ALL me. And either you like me or you don't. If you judge me by the size of my pants you are missing out. Because the size of my heart and the quality of my friendship is SO MUCH bigger. And if that's who you are, and how you choose your friends...It's your loss.

Off my box now...

So let's see...
*I got my haircut! Layers and shorter. And I changed colors. LOVE this new color. It's brown and henna. Sort of red/plum-ish. It's cute! No more blond, no more flat limp thin eww! Super versatile. I can let it air dry and be springy curls or I can blow-dry and have funky wispy layers. Depends on my mood.

* I made a super cool find at my Mom's. License plates from the year I was born and the year I turned 1. Plus a couple other vintage years! Awesome stuff! I am going to use the ones from 1970 and 1971 to make a scrapbook about me.. The others are going up on our dining room wall.

* I sorted and organized all the pictures since Cameron was born! I pulled all the doubles and filed them in my cropper hopper photo storage case by subject. The other set I put in a acid-free photo album. I put each subject in a sleeve and marked the date/subject/location on the memo sheet. This way I can just flip through the album grab a set of pictures and scrap.

* I got a super cute girls sayings rubber stamp by Colorbok at Walmart for $1.00 and a super cute pair of chocolate "urban-stressed" (Walmarts term, which basically means frayed and worn)flip flops! Love em!

* Read the current issue of CK and I was less than impressed. Is it just me or is this magazine getting booooooring? I love Ali's Studio A section but the rest...eh...forgetable.

* I have 2 - THAT"S RIGHT 2 - more pages to do to finish my wedding album! Holla! So glad to be done with that... It's like a crick in my neck that won't go away...LOL

* Haven't done Em's challenge yet but hopefully tomorrow. Already know what I want to do- Bonus!

* Going to work on a new section for my blog entitled art goals...To make myself accountable for being more creatively active.

* Signed up for Shimelle's new class! If you haven't taken a class with Shimelle, you SHOULD! I am excited to start this one.

* My uber-talented, super gorgeous, amazing friend Karla is thinking about teaching some online classes, too! So hoping she does! Go check her out! Incredible stuff!

OK, off to my bed. My super cute hubby and Dresden on Sci-Fi. Love me some Sci-Fi.

Oh and by the way...
I swear if Sanjaya is not kicked off American Idol this week I am NOT watching anymore...What the hell is wrong with you America? Please someone EXPLAIN this to me?!?!?!?!?!

Tam

I'm going to hell in a hand basket and fast...

It is my weekend to care for my Mom again.
*insert long pause of contemplation*

Feelings: Torn

Monday my Mom had an angiogram. She had a bad reaction to the medicine they used to sedate her (starts with a V that's all I remember.). Her blood pressure would "scream" to use the doctor's terms if she stood up and "plummet" when she laid back down. It was scary. The test was scheduled for 9 a.m. They finally performed it around 6 p.m.

She had to spend the night for observation afterwards due to her blood pressure.

She came home Tuesday.
Her face started swelling and her body started itching. Her primary believes she is reacting to something. She is being treated with antihistamines. She has become VERY confused since this procedure. Apparently the medicine used to sedate her also effects the part of the brain where she had her brain surgery. I talked to her this morning and she thought Easter was tomorrow. She wanted me to come take her to the store. She thought she stayed at her own house last night. She got mad because I wouldn't come get her and go stay at her house. I asked her to come stay with us for the night. She refused.

All that just makes me sad.

Sad because she has been set back once again. Sad because she truly doesn't know when she is being mean. Sad she feels so controlled by us. Sad I can't just pick up my life and live for her.

And it makes me nervous. Nervous for what is to come this weekend and if I have built enough inner strength to survive whatever is about to come my way.

And I am also in a state of indecision.
Dennis wants to get all of our stuff ready and go over to her house tomorrow so we don't have to do it on Friday. Then my Mom could spend an extra day at home too. But... It also means an extra day of the unknown for me.

A few posts ago I said fear was powerful. It is ya know. And sadly and also ironically is that one of my BIGGEST fears is the fear of the unknown. I like to know what is coming my way and be prepared. Not knowing is almost torturous.

And even though it is pelting rain outside my window at this very moment and thunder is crashing miles away and getting closer by the second...I am hopeful. Hopeful for cherished tidbits of time with my Mom. Hopeful that it will all be OK. Hopeful...

Hope is the anti-drug to fear. :)

So I had this waging battle in my mind all day while trying to finish up this fun little creation I made so I can show y'all and chasing my EXTREMELY active 3 year old around...

I was using my Dymo Label Maker to make some text strips for my little project and the phone rang. Cam was playing with his trucks watching a Hard Hat Harry movie on the floor. I decided it would be OK to leave my big old 1 liter bottle of iced tea and all my scrap stuff on my desk while I ran to answer the phone...

It was my sister and we only talked about 3 minutes...

When I came back Cam was up at my desk playing with some chipboard circles and my little labels were everywhere. I just swept them all in a pile and went back at peeling the pieces off so I could put them on... That's when I realized the one I had made that said "cute" was missing.

I moved everything around and even got down on my hands and knees looking under the bed, my desk, in Cameron's truck. Gone...

So I was pissed. I scolded Cameron. I told him Mommy's stuff was important and not toys and if he asked politely Mom might have some stuff for him to play with. He simply said OK and went back to his trucks...Basically like whatever Mom...You're so lame.

As I punched out cute again and tore the backing off I was irritated too much stuff floating around in my head. I grabbed my big bottle of tea took a great big drink and promptly proceeded to choke. I was freaking out. What the HELL is in tea to choke you????? I didn't know what to do. It's just me and Cam and he can't do the Heimlich. I could breathe a little so I wasn't totally freaking out but I could feel whatever was in my throat moving and that scared the shit out of me. I was afraid to breathe to deeply or fast for fear whatever it was would totally cut off my oxygen supply. I thought about calling someone but I couldn't speak... Tears stared pouring down my face and I realized I had 2 options.

Die - NOT AN OPTION!
or
Take in a long slow breath through my nose and try to cough whatever was in there out.

I decided on the breath...
And then I started praying. And making offerings to God. Please let me live and I will be a better Mom. Please let me live and I won't bitch about the laundry anymore. Please let me live I will be a nicer person. Please let me live for shits sake I am only 36... And then the last faith offering...Please let me live and I will never cuss again...

I took in a long breath and coughed like I was hacking a lung and out flew a 1 inch strip of plastic. As I sucked in a few more THANK GOD breaths I bent over to pick up the plastic and see what the heck it was...

A shiny black piece of Dymo tape that said "cute"

That's where it went. My sweet little boy slipped in my bottle. And you know what I promptly said...

Fucking nice...

So there you go.
I plead for my life and 3 seconds later promptly shoot my saving freaking grace all to hell... As well as my soul.

Sometimes, Life is a bitch.
But this time, I didn't die.

But I'm sure the devil has my seat all ready for me....LOL

Much love all,
Tam

Art Journal Challenge-Caught Up!

Playing catch-up with Em's Art Challenge...
Here are my last 4 cards which officially makes me CAUGHT UP! Yay!

Week 8 Challenge
Something or someone we miss...

Bazzill cardstock
Pattern paper? My bad...
Making Memories glitter stickers- LOoOoOoOoOove these!

The little journaling book on the back is made by creating a mini accordian album and attaching it to two magnet sheets covered with cardstock. The magnets hold the book closed. This is based on a product I seen a LONG time ago but I just made my own...Simple stuff.

The journaling reads:
I miss you so much Dad... Life and this family hasn't been the same since you died. Iremember hearing people say that same thing before and thinking to myself it was just the pain and the grief talking and that one day after some time had passed they would heal and move on... Now on the "other" side I really understand. Everyday I think of you. Everyday I wish I had just one more hour with you... I wish I could tell you how wonderful you were as a father, how much you taught me about life, love, family and the value of hard work. I wish I could once again sit at my kitchen table and peel potatoes with you or shuck a mess of green beans fresh from the garden or hear you tell the story of the guniea hens that made you laugh until you lost your breath... I miss knowing that if anything goes wrong you will be there with the voice of reason to set me once agaon back on the right path... I wish you could meet my son... And hear his laughter and see how much he loves tools, cars, and being outside just like you did. I wish you were here to fill the empty place in Ashley's heart you left when you died... And for Mom... Who hasn't been truly happy since you left. So that you could give her strength to fight the battle to get well again... I wish you were here Dad... But Heaven is lucky to have you...






Challenge Week 9
Inspiration Found

Colorbok pattern papers
Cardstock, brads, hinge ?
(See this is why I don't submit I just make stuff and forget about the details...LOL)
Letter stickers Making Memories
Deco Scissors Provo Craft

Journaling reads:
What inspires me?
Date: 03/04/07
Right now I am loving glitter and anything "old" and refurbished. The spring sunshine and the budding trees. Abstract art and pencil line prints. International scrap artists and food blogs. LOVE EM! Rhinestones, and the comeback of deco scissors, art mags (especially Sketchbook) and textures like linen, muslin, and more :)



Challenge Week 10
Note to Self

DCWV Cardstock
Flower Post it and Epoxy from Michaels Dollar Spot
Letter epoxy from KI
CI Rub's
7 Gypsies Tab sticker

Journaling reads:
Stop worrying!
The toys can wait, dinner too.
*RELAX*
stop
*Enjoy*
Life goes by too quick. Enjoy the moments!

I actually I am really loving this card. I think it's the color combo and all the sanding to give it the old and abused feel, shabby chic whatev... (hate that term...LOL)



Challenge Week 11
My Initial

DCWV pattern paper
Cardstock?
Flowers Prima
Diamond brad Darice

Journaling reads:
T: Hmmm... Truthfully I haven't really thought much about my initial before... But it seems strong when I look at it, and soft when it's lowercase. Interesting! Sort of like me!

Sorry about the weirdo camera angles. My camera kept focusing through the cut out T...LOL




This officially ends my slacker update! :)

We are up to 37 members of the Art Challenge web ring! You women rock! I have 5 sites in que that are missing the code on their web site/blogs. I will be emailing you all soon to try and help you get fixed up. I'm also thinking about making a little web page/blog about the challenge participants. A get to know you thing, faq's...Maybe do an artist showcase... Apparently because I have no life...ya know how it goes. :)

Thanks for checking out my cards...
Much love <3