Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Random thoughts and opines...

Another rainy night with the window open and complete solitude aside from the clickety-click of my keyboard and Cameron's sweet baby breaths on the monitor.

Almost deja vu-ish...

My Mom came home from the hospital today. We were all glad. Especially her. But she is still confused. They had to call me twice before she was released today because she was convinced Ash had been admitted to the hospital to have emergency gall bladder surgery. This of course did not happen and I tried to reassure her but even when she got home I had to have Ash show my Mom her belly and that there was no incision. Sometimes I think she just pretends that she believes us when we correct these things but inside her head I think she believes we are lieing to her. I can not imagine living with all these thoughts garbled up in your head and no escape. That is what hurts me the most. Sometimes she has glimmers of recognition that these thoughts are crazy. And in those times she says she wishes she had never had the aneurysm surgery. Those times...Hurt me. Pain for her regrets. Pain for her loss. And pain for mine too.
But she is home. And I am so glad. And tomorrow I will cook her breakfast and make her coffee and take some pictures of my Mom... My Mom... And tonight I will again ask God for his grace to grant her compassion and peace within her heart and soul. So she may enjoy what time she has with her family the best she is able.

I am making peace with it myself and above all else I am grateful to have been raised by such a kind, supportive, generous and loving woman. Though I may falter at times with my acceptance I am happy to have time with my Mom. Some are not so fortunate.

I finished my flip flop mini album today. It turned out pretty cute. I was going to share it but my Sister Elaine scammed it and is taking it to work tomorrow to show her friends. So maybe tomorrow.

I am desperate to finish the mini album I am making about all the cute little things (And some not so cute!) Cameron says. I wish I had done this for Ash but to be honest the thought never occurred to me before I seen the one Ali Edwards made for her son Simon. Ali is so darn talented! And she is a total inspiration and devoted to her family. I respect that. I love to pop over to her blog and she what kind of adventure she is on, art she is creating, or story about Simon she has to share.

Those kind of blogs... The one's of scrapbook "celebrities" and artist's are the ones I love the most. The blogs that combine a mix of art and life. Listen in the real world we all know life isn't roses and champagne. And to me life would be a meaningless adventure if we didn't have experiences both BAD and good. How would we learn? Grow? Change?

That's why I read the blogs that I do. The one's with a real human edge. Backbone. Diversity. Good. Bad. And sometimes ugly.
Blogs like these...

Karen Russell: She makes me laugh. Inspired and enabled me to try something new. To see beyond myself. Who shares a respect for the lives of military families and the love of her children just as I do. And has the best heart warming stories EVA! And who one day I will cook a amazing feast for and share some drinks and be humbled by her presence because she is real. 100% down to earth real.

Kristina Contes: When I die...I want to come back and live her life. She is crazy, wild, fun and creates the MOST AMAZING mini's...And she loves her some Trent and is a Project Runway junkie and so am I. Dude! You gotta love that! And her pooch...Chloe...Hello! Dog lovers unite!

Emily Falconbridge: Aussie extraordinaire! The queen of dreads! Married to the King of Man-pri's! Freakin love that! Who doesn't think out of the box...She lives outside the box dude! She lives for the art. The creation. And she shares not only her art but her love for life and her family. Respect and adoration tenfold to this woman.

There are more... More I read devoutly everyday. And I'll share more soon. But inside the ugliness that has floated around lately... I just wanted to share some good.

I know there has been a lot of hoopla lately about blogs that bash "celebrity" scrapbookers, published artists and etc. I have been there. I have read some of them.

My main beef with them being that these attacks are taken under anonymity and sometimes at the cost of their families. I think it is perfectly ok if you don't like someone's style. The art they create, their tastes in music, literature, and movies. But to attack their parenting skills, job, husbands, kids.... That is shameful. Cold. And cruel.

To be honest I even have a hard time with attacking someone's art. Art is in and of itself: subjective. If we all only liked apples then look what we would be missing the chance of experiencing... Oranges, kiwi, pomegranate, papaya, mango. I appreciate the art I can not create myself. Because of lack of skills, technique, supplies, etc. And if we didn't have new art to see eventually we would all become stagnant. Everything would be repetitive, old, and eventually boring.

I'm not a publishing kind of scrapbooker. I am honest about my art (which it is art to me...) and it's quality. It's not experienced or cutting edge. I don't submit to magazines, DT calls, or contests. I have tried some of the Dares and Freestyle challenges to push myself to try different things and think outside of my own creative box. Learning experiences. Will I ever submit, probably not. I have no reason other than an appreciation for the talent that is published.

But it all comes down to respect, maturity and decency. What good does it do in the end to berate someone? Does it bring you up? Make you better? No. In fact it lowers you. And as far as I am concerned makes you the type of person I would prefer not to know.

So the next time you consider posting something derogatory...Ask yourself, "What am I getting out of this? Am I bettering myself, them, the world?" Because if all you are doing is hurting someone... What are you doing it for?

You will reap what you sow.

And that my friends is the bottom line.


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