Update!

Quick update on my Mom:

I was up most of the night Thursday. I called my sister's cell phone 26 times. I woke up thinking I heard my phone ringing only to lay in bed after I checked the caller ID. No calls.

At 9:30 a.m. I finally heard from my sister and this is what I found out then:
My Mom takes a drug called coumadin that thins her blood. She has to take this as a precautionary measure because of her brain surgery. It is to prevent blood clots. So it's basically a blood thinner. The Coumadin is regulated by blood tests to check her clotting level. A good level for my Mom would be 2 to 3. When the tested her blood at the hospital it was 11.

So she was bleeding to death internally.

They gave her 3 bags of plasma to thicken her blood. But while they were monitoring that they noticed her blood volume was decreasing. They were worried about a bleeding ulcer or tear some where but it also could be caused by the fact that her blood was so thin that once it started to coagulate it decreased in volume. They also said we may never have noticed any bleeding because her blood was so thin it was barely red when exposed to air. They decided to give her 2 bags of blood to replenish her volume and to watch to see if her blood volume decreased afterwards which would be a sure sign of bleeding from other causes IE: ulcer or tear.

This morning her blood volume was at 10.8 which is good. But they have decided since she has had a bleeding ulcer in the past (years ago) that they will be performing an endoscopy tomorrow morning to check for ulcerations. They also want to check the condition of her esophagus because of the amounts of meds she takes and the affects they can have upon your stomach.

Her confusion has eased but isn't totally gone. She still isn't eating and on a liquid diet. But her pain has ceased and the she has only thrown up once (The night before last).

She is weak. Tired. And pretty depressed from this constant setback cycle.
I don't blame her.

I'm irritated that the visiting nurses were told by my Mom's old doctor that until she sees her new doctor that she didn't need to be followed up on except for once every two weeks. Such shit! She could have died! And what pisses me off is that this whole thing could have been caught if they had been coming weekly before we decided my Mom needed a better doctor. This only proves our point.

I am afraid to go see her because I have bronchitis and her immune system is already so low. She surely doesn't need my sickies now too. I call her every 4 hours or so and someone from my family is there almost all day. But I still have guilt. Well and of course there is the fact that Dennis is working every day and I would have to take Cameron and that is not an option. Not having my feisty 3 year old reeking havoc on the hospital.

I hate having guilt. It's like a wrench squeezing away at my insides making me question if I am a good daughter...

And I am lacking sleep and just overall not in a good place with myself right now.

Oh and did I mention my sister Connie is off to New York for 5 days? Uh yeah! Her husbands half-sister's Dad died and they went to the funeral. Connie wanted a few days away from this and Jim needed an escape from his work (He runs a debt collection agency...imagine the joy in that!) Needless to say it really put the crunch on what few of us there are here to handle things.

I miss normalcy. Sometimes I don't even remember life pre-surgery. It seems like a dream...