Saturday, October 14, 2006

Rubber Dreams and Mom Things

I am SO glad it's Friday.

A few posts ago I wrote about there being a lot of changes in my life lately. The major one being that I now take care of my Mom from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday.

My niece quit because she just couldn't handle it anymore and my sister Connie stays there at night then bring my Mom over here by 7 a.m.

It's hard. So hard.
There are days I just don't think I can do it anymore.
I get angry.
Depressed.
Stressed out.

I deal with Physical Therapist's, Occupational Therapist's, Visiting Nurses, and Meal on Wheels almost every day. Not to mention Social Services, trying to keep my house clean, wait on my Mom and watch and care for Cameron and Ash.

Some days she is mean. I know she doesn't truly mean to be. But since her surgery it is like the part of her brain that controls empathy and controling what you say to people is gone. Some days she says I will be sorry one day for how I treat her. This is usually following me attempting to get her to eat something so she can take her medication. She is critical to the kids. She doesn't like them to play to loud or run around. And when she wants something she wants it now and will yell if you don't respond immediately. Which is almost impossible for me to do while I am trying to take care of cleaning, laundry, Cameron, Ash, the dogs, etc., etc., etc.

By the time my sister gets here to pick her up I either want to lock myself in my room ALONE or crawl in my bed and cover my head with my pillows and not see or speak to anyone.

For the last couple of weeks I have just been exhausted and emoitionally drained.

Needless to say I haven't spent too much time working on my "You Think You KNow Me" workbook. But it is so good to escape into something creative. I forget about my day and the coming days for at least a little while.

Lately I have been surfing rubber stamp sites. I love rubber stamps. There are so many cool ones. Makes me envious of all the kick ass layouts I see that utilize stamps to the creative extreme.

I would desperately love to get my hands on these:
Avant Garde-Upper Case by Fontwerks
Jerky Tash-Lower Case by Fontwerks
Punctuate This by Fontwerks
Delicate Frame by Karen Russell for Fontwerks
Gas Hogs by Sassafrass Lass: This would make awesome versamark background papers *sighs*
Journaling Stamps by Kate Perteit-SO YUMMY!
Ornamental by Karen Russell for Fontwerks: This is so elegant!
Pretty Frame by Karen Russell for Fontwerks: Lovely!!!
Right This Way by Tia Bennett for Fontwerks
Anything by Autumn Leaves-LOVE Their Stamps!

So many awesome products out there.Incredibly talented designers and companies.

Well it's late and I am rambling.
3:30 a.m.
Off to elusive sleep.

Peace :)

2 comments:

genevieve said...

hi tam...
(((hugs))) for what you are going through. hang in there, stay strong, and i know life will reward you for this one day.
and i'm hearing you LOUD and clear on the rubber madness!

Kah-Mei said...

Hi Tammy,
Looked for an email addy on your blog, couldn't find one. Email me, would you? Thanks. :)

 
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