Monday, June 26, 2006

The week in review...

My mom had her surgery on Monday as scheduled.
Went in at 8:15 a.m.
Out at 10:15 a.m.

Doctor Fields called after and said everything went great and could only have gone better if Oral Roberts had been there to give a sermon.
***This is funny because it's catholic hospital...LOL***

Took hours before she got to recovery.
Hours before they let us see her.
She wouldn't come out of the anesthesia.
They said it was o.k.

Had a tooth pulled emergency at 3:30 p.m.
Lost a filling.
Exposed nerve.
Mucho pain.

My mom never woke up when I had a chance to see her.
She was cold and clammy.
I left crying.

Sister calls.
Mom is a little better.
Talking a little.
Still wants to sleep.
Blood pressure not responding to meds.
Taken to Neuro Intensive Care.
Nurses pull my other sister aside and say she will need leave in care now and may not regain use of her left side.
Huge family fight ensues at my house.
My brother and his wife are pissed and want to blame the doctors.
I tell them to get their shit together for Mom.
She needs us.
My SIL tells me I am not perfect and to get my own shit together.
I told her to get the fuck out of my house.

My sister Connie calls at noon.
Mom sitting up in bed eating a tuna fish sandwich, macaroni and cheese, and grape juice.
She's coherent.
Walked to a chair.
Sat up unassisted for almost an hour.

I go to see Mom.
She knows me but is confused.
Remembers the past.
Remembers present.
But then everything gets mixed up.
Her head is swollen.
The heart alarms go off when I talk to her.
It scares me.
Makes me sad.
Why was she worse today?
What changed?
What's happening to my Mom?
I leave crying again.

Dennis and I go to see Mom.
She still knows us.
She wants tacos.
She thinks she went to Owosso today.
She hasn't left her hospital room.
She shows me her stitches.
She is antsy.
Tries to eat but gets flustered and quits.
She asks me about the kids.
I say they miss her.
She says Cameron will think she is dead.
I leave crying again.

Updates again from my sisters.
She was alert and awake most of the day.
Some confusion.
Still thinks she went to Owosso.
Ate well.
Went to the bathroom (walked with help)
I pray this is a turning point...Again)

I decided to take Ashley up to see Mom.
Sisters say it's a good idea, Mom was in such a good place yesterday.
She is sleeping when we arrive.
Wakes up and tries to get out of bed.
Is fighting with my niece.
Thinks she is at home.
Rips off her head bandage and shows Ashley the giant cut across her skull and massive stitches.
Ashley is scared.
She is restless.
She tries to get us to help her out of her bed.
We refuse.
She calls Ashley to the side of the bed.
Begs her to help her Grandma and take her out of here.
Ash cries.
I cry.
She doesn't recognize things she did before.
But can remember others.
She thinks she will die if we don't get her out of her bed.
She gets tired.
Wants to sleep.
But is still trying to escape her bed.
Nurse comes in.
Restrains her.
I kiss her and say I'll see her tomorrow.
I leave crying...Again.
Ash too.

It's been an ugly week. Full of highs and lows. Emotionally, I am wrecked. Physically, I am exhausted. I can't sleep.

I miss my Mom.


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