I hate the world today...

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and things are good. Not spectacular just good? As time goes by this inner sense of strength and karma manifest into this energy that propels you to do things you had put off and you're thinking to yourself, Shit, this is a good damn day...Cool!

Then...WHAM!

Something, sets it off and everything spirals into a huge pile of shit.

The something could be anything or nothing in particular. Just "something" that takes every bit of good karma and turns it into a ugly black cloud that hovers over everything you touch, do, feel.

That's my day in a damn nut bag.

I was cruisin` around my fave blogs and decided today I would comment. Now, for the record I have commented very rarely on other blogs because a friend had told me about a post over at 2peas about people posting comments on "celeb" blogs trying to get recognition or some shit and shinola like that. After I read the post I had decided not to comment on anyone's blog just to avoid any net drama that might ensue. I got enough drama in my "real" life that I sure as hell don't need to add it to my net time.

But today I figured fuck it. I read these blogs because something about them, about the people, inspires me, touches a part of my life that I deal with, and because they make me laugh, complain, and even cry. So why the hell shouldn't I comment if I have something to say?!?! I don't want anything from them. I'm not a stalker, I don't want to be the next "celeb" scrapper. I just get it. What they say or create or feel. And if I get it, then I should tell them, I get it.

So, I commented on a few blogs, and was totally digging this new found attitude that who gives a shit what anyone thinks. Then the phone rings...

Unknown Name
Unknown Caller

Hmmm...This could mean a couple of things.

Either it's a salesman.
A bill collector.
My daughter calling from a pay-phone.
Or my Mom, who is in the hospital.

I decide to err on the side of safety in case it's my daughter or my Mom.

WHAM!

A bill collector. Fucking JOY!

A little back story is needed here I suppose...

8 months ago our son got sick. At first it just seemed like the flu. High temp, throwing up, diarrhea. Cameron was only a little over 2 years old then... Anyhoot...
We rushed him into Redi-Med that evening when he had continued to throw up and the fever wasn't breaking. The doctor's there said he probably had the flu-bug that was going around and to give him Ibuprofen for fever, , A antibiotic because of the fever(a sign of infection), and plenty of fluids.

Over the next 2 days he got worse. He would throw up the medicines and the fever only broke for a few hours after ever dose of Ibuprofen. The diarrhea was constant as the vomiting but we kept giving him fluids in hope that something was staying in his system. Finally on the 3rd day we had enough and took him to the emergency room. Immediately he was hooked up to an IV because he was dehydrated and they ran a boatload of tests. Finally after 9 hours they sent us home saying he possibly had something called Rotavirus, which there is no medicines for and will go away with 7 days, and that the culture would be tested when the specialist came in, but that he should be feeling much, MUCH, better now that his fluids had been replaced. Um, ok..

Off we go home... For about 2 hours Cameron was his old self, trying to play and even ate some toast and a hash brown from McDonald's. Then he started throwing up, the fever was back, and the diarrhea. Within 6 hours he was lethargic again. He couldn't walk, he was ashen, he was like a little skeleton.

The next morning we took him to our family doctor. Retold her the whole story and basically begged for help. She faxed the hospital and got his records and sure enough he had Rotavirus, not the flu like the idiots at Redi-Med said. She also told us Rotavirus was highly contagious and we needed to use extreme precautions to keep from spreading it to everyone who came in contact with Cameron. NO ONE told us that, not even the hospital! She gave us some suppositories to stop the vomiting and told us not to give him any antibiotics because it was just making it worse and to keep giving him fluids. If he became to lethargic to go straight to the emergency room because he probably would be dehydrated and need IV's.

We made it through the night but by 7 p.m. the next day we were worried he was becoming dehydrated again and went back to the emergency room. He was treated with fluids and we had a spectacular doctor who gave us tons of information on Rotavirus and cared for us and most importantly Cameron like human beings.

He said that by the description of when this all started Cameron should be coming to the end within a few days. He showed us how to force him to take some pedialyte and precautions to protect ourselves and our teenage daughter, family, and friends from catching Rotavirus.

The next few days were long, and tested everything I, and my husband knew about parenting, patience, and strength.

I can not even count the times I went outside and sat on our deck and cried and begged God to help us through this.

It was the worst time we have ever experienced as parents. Cameron who had weighed a healthy 2 pounds or so at the onset of this now weighed just a few ounces over 10 pounds. His ankle bones stuck out like they were broken. We could count his ribs and see every bone of his spine. His face was taunt and skeletal. It was horrifying and nearly broke me mentally.

Within 3 days he was coming around and slowly after numerous more visits to check his status with our doctor Cameron got healthy and started eating and has now gained all his weight back plus more.

Today he is happy, healthy, and a normal kiddo.

Which brings me to the point of why I am writing this all to begin with...The bill collectors.

Even though we are lucky to have major medical insurance through my husband's work, we accumulated huge medical bills. Co-pays and uncovered medicines somewhere over the sum of 3500.00.

We wiped out our savings and used credit cards to pay the hospitals, redi-med, and doctors. We did what we had to do. Plain and simple. Things fell behind and before to awful long we knew we were in trouble and needed help. Instead of filing bankruptcy , we decided to use a credit counselor and have them consolidate or payments and save our credit.

Cameron was an unplanned and unexpected baby. Our daughter was born in 1991 and after 8 years or so of trying to have more kids we had resided to the fact that it wasn't meant to be. Then in 2003, surprise! We were overjoyed. It was a long, hard, emotional pregnancy which is another whole post in and of itself. But at the time I found out I was pregnant I was running an online scrapbook business and eBay store. My husband worked and the money I made was simply fun, play money for our family. I didn't have to work outside the home and we didn't have child care costs. But my pregnancy was hard, I was sick constantly. I had to make the hard and sad decision to close my online businesses because I couldn't maintain the quality customer service I expected for my customers and of myself.

Having one income and raising kids, even a single kid is hard in today's world.

Which again brings me back to my delightful call from this bill collector...

They proceed to start on their rant about we owe so and so amount of money and if we don't remit a payment of such and such by tomorrow we will be served by the sheriff and sued.

Fucking - A!

Hello!?!?! Where is our credit counselor and what the hell is going on?!?! I politely try to explain to them that we are under contract with a credit counselor and this is being taken care of. They continue to bitch, literally bitch about how that means nothing and if I don't pay them I'll be sued etc., etc., etc...

I promptly hung up and called our credit counselor and went into a tirade about what the shit is going on !??!?! Are you not taking care of this?!?!?! One of the counselors gives the ho-hum about how they have sent a letter to this company and will be sending them a payment on such and such date and if I get served to fax them a copy of the papers. What the fuck?!?!

When I hung up I was pissed and near a rage and not even sure who I am more pissed off at... The asshole bill collectors with no humanity or the stupid bastards who are supposed to be helping us...

These are the times I wish my husband were home. He would handle this and reassure me and I could go back to my rosy colored world. But not today... He is at work and my life has went from good karma to shit cloud.

It's almost funny... I started my day with this inner strength thinking I don't care what people think to obviously not caring at all what people think. This is my reality. No bullshit, no lies, no fluff and bows.

Real.
Honest.
Reality.

That doesn't even touch the surface of how I am feeling about my Mom. How sick she is. And how scared I am that she won't get better.

It doesn't cover the anger I feel towards the tards at creativexpress about the amount of time they took to process the order my Mom bought for me almost 3 friggin` weeks ago. Hell-the Fuck-O! If you plan on having a huge ass sale, then hire some extra staff to process your orders fools.

It doesn't cover the loneliness I feel sometimes not having any net friends to vent with or laugh with...